And I still hold your hand in mine, in mine when I'm asleep..

I should have left it in April. I shouldn't given both of us false hope. I shouldn't have asked him back. I shouldn't have been selfish and clung on tight when I knew there would be no future with him.

In the end, I just cannot imagine a future. I cannot imagine spending a lifetime waking up beside him, though I really want to. He can, but I can't. Besides that, we really didn't have any problems. He's a wonderful guy and I wish him all the best. But he doesn't want my well wishes anymore. And I don't blame him for that. Twice, I trampled all over his ego. And we all know that ego is one thing that guys will never lose. Yet, he asked me, practically begged me for another chance. He wants to save us. But, there's just no point. I had to tell him that.

It hurts me too, but it's really for the best. We had our good times, let's leave it at that. I'll remember you, and I love you. But sometimes, love isn't enough. Love doesn't make the world go round. And I'm sorry I had to teach you that lesson.

I didn't cheat, neither did he. None of us did anything to jeopardize this, but it just came to a point when it was blatant that it would all end one day. No matter how happy we can be, it's only temporary. I had to make him understand that. Be cruel to be kind, you know. One day, I'll look back and probably wonder why I'm so stupid, but right now, it seems like the best I can do for him.

He'll find someone better suited, I know it. And he'll make her the happiest girl on earth. Simply because he's what he is. He's perfect, just not for me. I'm too selfish and egoistic to change myself for him. And there's really nothing I can ask him to change for me.

I love you, and that's why I had to break up with you. There's no future for us. I love you and I want you to be happy, ultimately. And I can't give you that. It was fate that we met, and it was love that we had. But..our paths are never going to intersect again, and the gap is only going to get wider. Let go, while we still can. It's the only thing we can do.

One day, you will understand. I meant it when I said I still do want to be your friend. You'll always have a place in my heart. You pulled me through one of the toughest times, I can't forget you for that. I want to know you 20 years down the road, I want to be there at your wedding with your dream girl. I want to congratulate you when you get your own business. I want to do so much for you. But right now, the only thing I can do, is set you free. And hope you won't hate me.

Because I don't hate you.

I've never hated you and I could never.

Sabby says I should treasure any fool that comes along and loves me. And I do. I really do. And I thank you. But I don't think I believe in love anymore.

AnRu reminisced at 7:41:00 PM.