They didn't mean a thing

It suddenly struck me that I'll be flying off at approximately the same time as last year. If I do.

I feel like I've been taken for a ride. A long journey roundabout, coming back to the same point, over and over.

They won't be getting the divorce after all. I won't be going home. I won't be staying around either. So it's either going overseas, or moving out on my own.

I wonder how I'm going to return and take my 'A's, if I take up the offer and fly away from here.

It makes sense to leave everything, and restart. But it also seems ridiculously childish and escapist. Something I don't think I can afford.

I don't know why I'm the one moving out. I don't know why I have a home I can't return to.

It's unfair to lose my temper at everyone who's helping me. But...what is help?

I don't even know what's good for me anymore.

And what's going to happen to my birthday? I have no intention of spending my 18th in isolation.

AnRu reminisced at 5:18:00 PM.