A lifetime without you

I can't live, if living is without you. I can't give, can't give anymore.

It's all over, just like that. All my fairytale dreams, castles in the skies. I don't know why. I don't understand it. I would give anything, bend to fit any mold, for him. But it's just not good enough; I don't have anything left to give.

It started with denial. I saw it coming a long time ago, yet still failed to be ready for it. 'It will not happen', I told myself. But it did. Even after it did, I told myself it wasn't real; it's only temporary. Then was desperation - going insane when calls went unanswered. Now it's a sharp pain in the side, a maroon hurt.

There's still this wonder, this amazement, this... 'Wow, I never knew I could hurt so much'.

Why isn't love enough? Why send me someone to promise the future then brutally snatch him away? Why chide me for being cynical and pessimistic then provide justification for my negativity?


But most of all, why can't you accept that I love you?

AnRu reminisced at 1:35:00 AM.